331. Slippery

Deny me now your scandalous love,
that hint of heaven in suggestive sway,
the lightest falling of the tracing hand
between the loved and lover held —

If not then grant a bigger hug
not even drunkenness of friends mistake
but in the quiet moments eyes had felt
all but a hint of the devil’s wake.

Notes:
“Aye me” so says Juliet. “She speaks” so says Romeo. Lest we forget their plot is a tragedy…
T:6

330. Once Upon

Underneath this lampshade’s light,
the witness to another sleepless deed,
the fingers follow drooping eyes
consumed slowly by fatigue —

I can hear the ticking hand invade,
reminding of mortality,
that trading hours changing pasts
a plot of daytime fantasies…

But that is all I have of you,
just words and cold, cold distance,
bridged by a simmered glow.

Notes:
The day starts, the day ends, time crawls by…and then work comes in the morning. Oh man.
T:12

329. Monday Mirror

Fading white like snow fall,
a start but with no end
aside from youth in passing viewed
with fondness or contempt,
for was it only yesterday or two?—
The eyes shone verdant, skin pristine,
that whiter locks arrived today
as fast forgetting as it fade.

Notes:
The first distinctly white hair has revealed itself. Guess my immortality has ended at last…ah, to become old. Or is it ahhhhhh. When do I start freaking out and become willing to do anything/everything to stay young, or at least look it?
T:14

328. Believer

I wait for words like silent monks
attuning selves for signs unearthly,
imposing sleep again for dreams
foretelling form and voice made flesh,
to bring not sorrow for past wrongs
but honey dews of paradise fresh.

But vows, prostrations, humbled head,
despite impressing staunch deniers
can yield at best a crumb of joy
if left by choice unanswered prayers.

Notes:
Probably a nonzero chance someone takes offense to this as being about religion, even if it’s not…
T:20

327. Friends

Adore those words of friends,
the eulogies in living
such that their joy, however small,
is gained in your well-wishing,
appreciate too the warmth
of even their forgettable deeds,
gently ventured for your joy
that serenely silence hid.

Notes:
While these lecture-esque poems are probably among the lower forms in terms of aesthetics, I can never remind myself enough to love in return for the love which I receive.
T:10

01/03/2016

It’s amazing how fast break ended, how fast 2015 came and went. I’ll be 27 come Monday midnight, another year and gray hair added. So close to that Ph.D. title, yet the ending will be drawn out if my discipline’s not established and maintained…

I had 3 words for 2015’s resolution: rebuild, attain, succeed. How did each stack up? Rebuilding efforts were mostly naught, though some small glimmers of progress recently might motivate me to try a bit harder once I return to Chicago. My mile time must be a disgrace, assuming I can even make it that far nowadays with dignity. Attain fared better. New apartment and roommate, new job, completed thesis, passed comps and just one step to go to complete the doctorate. Succeed was also largely a success: 2 posters accepted, 1 pub under review, reconnected with some friends I have not seen in far too long (and awaiting hopeful for another). The biggest failure was my inability to finish the one-year poetry project, with 39 left to go. If nothing else, I should attempt to wrap that up before January ends.

Overall, 2015 was a fantastic year. I can only hope 2016 continues the trend of each year being better than before (with an exception here and there). There’s much work to be done, and I am willing. With that said, we now need a new theme for the coming year. In line with my desires to develop, let’s make the year about Nourishing: Create, Sustain, Transcend. Create new works, new research, new relationships. Sustain the body, mental well-being, the bonds with others. Transcend my vices and become a better me.

Somewhere in all this I should make a certain vow to never stay up past a certain hour. The night-owl life comes too easily. I should also make a greater habit of using this blog, be it for creative sessions or just as a means to reflect on life more often. It’s healthy to have reminders of where we started and where we’ve managed to grow towards. Despite all my jest of being old, I still got an abundance of youth in me yet.

Perhaps this would be a good place to start drafts for the “Things I’m Learning” series. Maybe I can make a habit of revising older works as well. Some gems lie in the rough (oh so many roughs) that with some polishing could do good. And speaking of good…I should remind myself more often of the good opportunities I’ve encountered and always to make the most of what I have. We can’t after all ask for more if we don’t make use of what we’ve got.