11/26/2017

If I won’t sleep when the time comes, I should at least do something seemingly productive with the minutes otherwise wasted. A moment of feeling thankful then: for the week, for the wedding I attended, for the friends and family, for those who are no longer there, for those who will someday be, and finally, for those my allotted time.

Age will make a wiser person out of us all at some point or another. Yet it would seem I have regressed in some corners as I expanded in others. I keep saying I’ll put effort into myself, and maybe if I say it 10 times and go through with it twice, I’ll be farther ahead day by day. At any rate, the latest challenge has been set, and if that’s what it takes for me to get my lazy ass, so be it.

And somewhere there just beyond the conscious periphery, a shadow of your memories pervade. I refuse to have forgotten, and in all honesty it would make things all the easier if I did. But why forget a good thing? We don’t get an infinite supply of memories to draw on – better to cherish each and every few bright moments, no matter how things play out in the end. That’s among those secrets of life, isn’t it? Until our time is up, there is no such thing as “in the end.” I think about time and the future all too much, I forget to sip my latte for its calming cold.

May the appropriate eyes some day read these random entries: be it me, or hopefully you, or whoever else. May my tomorrows bring me more moments such as those we’ve shared. It’s good to reminisce, but there is time to make more moments worth reminiscing. I must embrace the present, as it were. There is infinity there, inexhaustibly large within the infinitesimally small.

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534. Lunch Break

When I made friends with my own Life,
I asked where we went wrong:
That decade passing by
was one nap missed since yesterday,
and more hairs turning gray today
than memories turning dull
with Autumn’s last goodbyes —

But still, still patient is this Life,
as malcontent as motivated:

We might just order salad yet.

Notes:
“Miles to go before I sleep” – so it goes, and so too I must keep moving.
T: 6

533. Tomorrows

I borrow from a debt deferred,
whose time comes unannounced,
but such its paltry interest
that hardly did I doubt
a splurging day or week of treats
those sleepless nights didn’t count —

And such has grown its toll in light
that no swindler could conceive,
yet old a tale as debt to self,
it never fails to bring new griefs.

Notes:
Fight for today then; that’s my next play until I get to where I need to be.
T: 13

532. Grey Tea

Cozy is the privileged view
of snow beyond the window,
serene the afternoon
with sips of tea too mellow,
from such a dimming day
would sigh to rest encumbered
watching safely in the warmth,
both shielded and yet hollow.

Notes:
One day at a time. 4 hours still at least. I have only myself to excuse.
T: 17