01/26/2018

I can be proud so far this week. Exhausted too, but proud nonetheless for meeting a fully-packed schedule head-on. Personal time may very well go the way of illusions in the next few months or so. So it shall be then – another letting go? You wouldn’t think I have much left to give, but the limit has not been reached quite yet. Maybe I’ll feel differently after tonight’s workout, and then hosting a long-time friend the whole weekend. Next week shall repeat as early as Monday morning…onward then!

Feeling intensely nostalgic for you of late, and not particularly sure why. Perhaps it’s because I missed our weekly phone calls, and with all the little pockets of time in transit the desire to speak and hear from you carved an inner path towards longing. The lack of adequate sleep undoubtedly contributed, though I shouldn’t blame my body for troubles I impose upon it. We’ve come quite far, even as your various joints and muscles aggravate: let’s keep moving, yeah? Maybe the inner paths will lead towards some outer gardens, or not.

So two of three themes figured out for the year then: Graduate, and some variation of “letting go.” Relinquish? Desist? Relieved? The third one sounds quite pleasant actually, probably the best connotation so far. Just one more theme to go. Perhaps another theme to do with perseverance or something else aspirational and just as cheesy. Like all good stories go, the characters have to believe in their mission. The thing about your own hill to ascend is that you are always free to stop. But that also means you alone can choose to look beyond the current trek and climb. So then, is this the stopping spot? Maybe someday, the answer will be yes. That doesn’t feel right for today though.

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