537. Wisps

Can I command myself forget?
A lesser yearning, just an ounce,
as steady past as moments fade
before the ceaseless seconds’ count;

That rainy days may bring a peace
devoid of longing, just blank joy,
each splashing drop massaging
away the soothing of your voice;

Can I command myself forget?
The days like whispers, poorly-pieced,
to which in sorrow I’ll consign,
and to the writings I concede;

Perfection then the past that was
where memory’s grasp is dark.

Notes:
And so I asked for the impossible, half-heartedly. No wonder why the only outcome possible left the mind lamenting.
T: 17

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02/12/2018

I think it’s fair to say I’m frustrated. 2 steps forward, 3 steps back. 3 steps forward, 2 steps back. Success feels ever fleeting and just out of reach. Another lesson learned, yes. Another characteristic to improve upon. These are victories of a certain sort, but not the kind I fancy at the moment.

I suppose if nothing else, I get to learn another lesson in patience. If I give up, which doesn’t seem acceptable…but if I give up, nothing gets easier – I would merely be giving myself a pass to flounder. For some things, we can find worth in needing to quit. But things within my control, improvement within my capacity…that’s worth hanging onto. That’s worth bowing my head down and keep on moving. That’s worth refusing to give up.

It’s late and I need sleep for the week ahead. I had my one week of vacation, as it were. How many wake-up calls would one need before getting on with adulthood? Excuses and entertainment – I am more than just these two components. Why not prove it?