04/14/2018

I guess I’m overdue for a tear-jerker every now and again. As the roommate reminds me, I am most likely overly predisposed to describe heart-warming moments as ‘wholesome.’ What could be more wholesome than character growth and development? We started and finished Violet Evergarden in just two sittings, and my word, the latter half tugged at my heart strings with the eternity of longing that I can empathize.

But there is peace too. Emotional turmoil, the hopelessness and lost sensation, they all give way to peace in their own time and through others. Perhaps I’m becoming biased in wisdom acquisition, but it does appear that a common theme resonates among the arts, literature, and entertainment I adore: we grow, we heal, we find our best fulfillment in light of others. Even the highest highs of achievement, a sensation I crave with each and every passing project, what more are they than building blocks to a sturdier me to share with a world of others?

I imagine you would like this anime as well. And perhaps all too fittingly, it would remind me of you, as much as Violet misses the Major. And like her, I find the peace of addressing an entity more abstract now than real, and that’s okay.

One conference now concluded. One more to go next week. Between now and then and the week afterward, I have to press onward with my little ‘Saga of Hours.’ So far, it’s shown promise, albeit less than fully desirable results (could truly be a theme of life in my 20s, hah). We’ll get there though. We as in physical me and the narrator me, plus our cohort of lifelong cheerleader friends and family.

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04/11/2018

Trying something new today, birthing it with a cutesie name as I am wont to do with all my pet projects: Saga of Hours. If we can make it last 4 weeks, the possibilities for extension will go from there.

Life has been tough love of late, with all the lucky breaks going elsewhere. I’ve stalled and kept on stalling, promising for tomorrow what I could have done (with some effort) today. Failure on my part, to be sure: talent wasted is worth as much as a lack thereof. Physically, I look and feel great, but mentally, my capacity has certainly diminished. Like exercising the body, the brain too needs its workouts for focus and output. I shouldn’t be my own antagonist when there’s a whole world of problems to choose from.

So here’s to a start of something new and gimmicky. But hey, gimmicks are worth their flair if results can back them up. We adapt and incorporate ideas to help us grow and thrive, and I got plenty of room for both in my life.

04/06/2018

Well, that was fun: an expression of skill and critical thinking, the making of a process that takes 6 hours into 1.5. It’s not much in the grand scheme of things, but just enough to bolster confidence in myself that I have something tangible to offer for my supposed talents. It’s a start – got a long way to go.

Happy belated birthday! Here’s hoping things are swell, as I’m sure they are.

I have so many distractions these days…but isn’t that my fault for allowing these sources of vapid entertainment interfering with my productivity? This whole week has basically been a waste in that regards. And yes, while time spent enjoying one’s self is hardly wasteful, it can be excessive. I’m becoming addicted to speed, to the flow of information rather than its comprehension at deeper depths. Projects like the one I just spent time on helps to slow the pace a bit, but ultimately it’s a battle I’m losing, and in no small part due to my own choices for entertainment. I keep making solemn vows to change things, but change has been found wanting.

The more things appear to stay the same then. It’s like I grow in a circular pattern of making strides and falling wayward, up and down that ladder to the next level. Is self-motivation not enough? Gosh darn it.