528. Free Association (#01)




Are associations ever truly free? What does free even mean in this case?
T: 20



Some nights such as these, I can’t help but reminisce, and if I reminisce, it wouldn’t have been too long before my thoughts wander ‘round to you eventually. A good place, I might add. A happy one, despite how things played out. I am dually blessed and cursed with a positive disposition, which in this instance could be argued as a blessing.

Tonight, however, I miss the giggle in your laughter. I miss the effortlessness with which we dance and weave in our conversations. I’ve had dates since our last real chat, and let’s just say the difference is like a full moon to a clouded star. With you, I had difficulty ending our conversations; with some certain others, I can barely find a rhythm to start, let alone continue.

We’ve changed quite a bit, haven’t we? You really got into running and anime. I recently got back into working out again and shed the winter pounds. I got a new haircut too, less spiky and more comb-overy…an adulting look I suppose, hah. Your music taste is expansive as ever; my night owl ways are much the same, schedule permitting. I guess our cores are still the same, heh.

It’s been an odd year since you are gone again. Despite that, you’ve never been more present in the undercurrents of my thoughts. Life’s thrown me a couple curveballs since that I would have loved to chat with you about. I’m sure it’d probably done the same for you, which I would be more than happy to listen. But here we are, quiet as the midnight air, those words unspoken…

It does bring me joy though how we picked up so effortlessly last time. Maybe next time will be a bit more permanent. A happy soul can hope, right? Hah. So the saying goes though, “greatness is in knowing that it’s not about you.” I’m only half a story, and eager or willing as I ever am to write some more, we’ll need both of us to put something together. Something fun and charming, with a dash of over-the-top cosmic grandness (because why not). Being light-hearted was always a foundation for us, after all.

527. Matching

Just another drop,
an ocean of leftovers,
collective smiles, sad —

But they rejected too,
companions of this wallow,
stories too well-matched —

Gusts of hurricane,
lashing angry upon sails,
mellowed at the shore.

A little different from the usual form for tonight, but a topic otherwise evergreen.
T: 12

526. Shimmer

A figment’s weight is not so much
that moments feel it dragging so,
and yet when daylight’s at a pause,
not all the dark could mask its glow;

Such sound or scent, a briefest hug,
a passing minute of a younger day
would linger in sweet sleep’s reprieve
untethered to our waking ways.

But somehow, I prefer the waking world and resist sleep each night…
T: 20

525. Startings

The paths diverged in four:
a leftward to known shores,
a coastal walk of yesterday
your feet well marked before;

A rightward to some distance
unmarked, just rounding river,
and we could but only guess
how salt and fresh life differs;

And two to go, two forwards,
one smoother course well-paved,
where thousands have maintained
from birth unto their graves;

The last, a road up mountain,
at once supreme and solemn,
for few who see from height
return as we once knew them;

And so in dawn light’s blessing,
the pilgrims, paupers, princes, walked.

“Oh, if life were made of moments, Even now and then a bad one // But if life were only moments, Then you’d never know you had one.”
T: 33

524. Enduring

No cramp’s a pain too great,
nor scrape that’s too misshapen,
when bowed but focused brows
are blind to all that wasn’t —

And what’s a price too great,
nor sought an angel’s bargain,
that all the worth of earthly truths
would pale to one obsession.

And so it goes…planned or unplanned, stubbornness or resilience. At least know what you want and be honest.
T: 10

523. Contexts

Aflame, no captivated soul resists
the call of knowledge hidden,
but prior wisdom kept denied
and marked the clues forbidden —

So toiled off in vain perhaps,
ever closer to coherent answers:
yet will breakthroughs bring delight
or leave new puzzles even stranger?

If there are answers, I have questions…or is it an addiction?
T: 11

522. Momentary

Dare we a moment linger here,
a respite before dawn,
embracing smiles fading fast
before awaking to move on;

Shall we at night retire there,
exploring ‘midst the thoughts,
where dreams provide us joy
that life by day cannot.

“One hope at a time, one step then another…” Best not get lost in dreams though, when reality is 2/3rd of every day.
T: 8

521. Glasses

From afar the sunlight brought
a midnight heart-to-heart its end,
yet even as your figments fade
my longings still persisted here —

The mornings promised quite a mix
between a coffee cup and errands,
but all were shades of grays compared
to the cherished strawberry blonde there.

On a roll this week. Might have found the ideal writing hour I think, even if it’s in a rather inconvenient place of the day…
T: 21

520. After All

If days in span are much too long
for what a moment could consist,
and still were hours much beyond
what the wasteful found remiss,

then fleeting minutes can suffice,
or even seconds rapt in bliss,
that a lifespan it would seem
when lost in moments of a kiss.

An unexpected lovey turn as stanza two crystallized, but hey happy writing keeps the mind and heart youthful.
T: 23